A Practitioner’s Perspective

by Heather Epps, RScP

I recently posted on Facebook, commenting on someone’s argument that violence is sometimes acceptable.  Let me share about my choice to comment.

First, I'm careful about entering into these conversations online.  I’m not sure that I’m able to change anyone’s mind, and I certainly don’t want to stress over these types of posts.  But I do try to engage so that I can learn more about other opinions and beliefs, and to perhaps introduce a different point of view.  For me, this is Spiritual practice.

One of our core beliefs is Oneness – the truth that we all come from the same Source and return to this Source.  When I label people as “them” or “wrong” and isolate from or avoid them, I am forgetting Oneness. If I can remember this concept, I know that I have more in common with others than any label suggests. 

We are interconnected in ways both seen and unseen. We don’t necessarily need to engage with everyone, because it is right to set boundaries and not have contact with toxic, harmful individuals. However, I first try to find a common ground.

Our Founder, Ernest Holmes says that every person who exists manifests in the Life of God. We say “namaste” to each other to practice this. The phrase acknowledges that “the God in me sees the God in you.”  It is certainly easier to see the God in someone who thinks and believes as we do, but Oneness helps me remember that it is equally true about people who are very different than I am.  So how do we come from a place of Oneness when connecting with people who seem so different?

Let’s try to replace judgement with grace. Instead of labels and judgments, we can try learning more about the person and being curious about the origins of their beliefs. The story of Daryl Davis illustrates how powerful this can be. 

Daryl is an internationally known blues musician and race relations expert who has dedicated his life to befriending members of the Ku Klux Klan. He says that when he befriends members of the KKK over meals and through open discussions, Klansmen often discover that their hate was misguided. From these interactions, Davis has received over 200 KKK robes, given to him by those who have renounced their racist beliefs.    

Davis suggests – “Find someone who disagrees and invite them to your table.”

Showing grace to others is about extending kindness, forgiveness and understanding. It is about remembering that others are like us, just living their lives as best as they can. By accepting that we have this one thing in common, we can find other commonalities.  Oneness tells me that they are there, it is up to me to find them. 

Recently, in a chat with people from around the world, a Pakistani Muslim female medical student shared that her mom thought that “LOL” meant love out loud, and that when a family member shared on social media that they had a terminal disease, her mom replied “LOL.”  In the same chat, a South American Catholic young father shared a story of how his mom did the same thing. We commented that Moms across the world are alike - yet another example of the truth of Oneness. Two people, seemingly different in so many ways, experienced the same touching thing. 

Surely we can find commonalities with everyone we encounter!  I encourage you to set aside judgement and engage in conversation. Remember that despite appearances to the contrary, we are all One.  LOL – love out loud. Namaste.