On the Minister's Mind
by Rev. Laine Morgan
There is a traditional Buddhist saying – “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” Maybe you are like me and have heard that many times. But, over the past few weeks, I learned more about that phrase and got to deepen my understanding of it through a personal experience.
The first week of my most recent vacation was spent in Thailand, where more than 90% of the population is Buddhist. We visited several Buddhist temples where our guides shared their own spiritual practices and told stories to illustrate some of their basic beliefs, including some related to the idea that suffering is optional - a result of being attached to our own preferences as to how life should be. When we release that attachment, our suffering eases.
One of the strongest preferences I hold is for communication to go smoothly, and this particular trip involved the coordination of many details shared by our group of 8 travelers. We were on several flights, moving from one location to another across 5 different countries. And, as you can imagine, we were communicating in group texts and using technology to our advantage to keep the information flowing between us.
All was going very smoothly until Terri went swimming with her iPhone in her pocket….for almost an hour!! Everyone’s hearts sank as we watched her realize her mistake, but we each quickly reassured her and contributed whatever wisdom we had to try to remedy the situation. We submerged the phone in rice, until we learned that it was no longer a good trick. We let the phone dry out for 48 hours before recharging it, as some internet expert suggested. We kept trying all these things for several days, as the practitioner team back at home was praying too. We just didn’t want to face the reality that the phone was gone for good.
After allowing herself to feel the initial emotional response of frustration and uncertainty of the path forward, Terri grew stoic and calm. Fresh off our lessons in Buddhism, someone in our group even mentioned she was being very “Buddhist” about the entire situation.
Each time we all reached for our phones to do anything, it was very obvious that one of us didn’t have a phone. Somehow Terri managed to remain unflustered as we tried to fill in the technology gaps for her. She let us share the weather, the boarding time for the next flight, or the menu for the restaurant we were considering – all things Terri would usually have at her fingertips. Whatever internal pain she may have felt at the loss of her expensive phone and all the tools contained therein, her suffering seemed minimal.
There was a big lesson in this for me, and I bet for all of us who witnessed it. Things like this are going to happen, and I intend to remember Terri’s experience as inspirational. Losing your phone in a foreign country in the middle of a complicated travel itinerary was painful, but suffering was indeed optional. I think what helped her, and what can help all of us, is remembering that we are never alone, and that there are other paths to wholeness beyond the one we are most comfortable taking - if we can relax and remain open.
How do you handle the unexpected challenges that appear suddenly on your path when your preferences aren’t met? Just remember, they might be painful, but you don’t have to suffer! Things don’t always go according to plan and phones sometimes go swimming, but we don’t have to be miserable through the experience. As I write this, we have made it home and Terri is at the phone store negotiating the next solution to her technology needs and I am certain she is grateful to be at the end of this most Buddhist lesson!