A Practitioner’s Perspective
by Heather Epps, RScP
When you hear the word “surrender” what image do you see in your mind? I used to imagine a soldier leading troops waving a white flag, with everyone’s hands in the air. I imagined dejection in their downcast eyes, tension in their shoulders. I imagined them feeling fearful, sad, and hopeless because I thought of surrender meant giving up.
There is a much more powerful perspective on surrender in my consciousness now. Surrender for me is no longer about giving up, it is about letting go. In twelve-step rooms they talk about surrendering to a greater Power, acknowledging that you are not in control. God is in control of every part of our lives. When we surrender, we let go of any illusion to the contrary.
It is easy for me to see that God is in control of the big things. I know I have no influence over where the next hurricane lands, but it is harder to remember that Universal Order is in control of the small things as well. God controls my next breath and every experience in my life. If you doubt that God is in control, go ahead and try to change the path of the weather! And, then remember that we are also not in control of what people say or do.
I want to think that it is easier to have total domain over how I spend my time or energy, but I quickly run into the wisdom of the poet Robert Burns who said, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
When I surrender, I acknowledge the truth that any control I have is probably an illusion. I definitely can’t control other people or things going on in other places. Hopefully, I have more control over myself, but anyone who has had something spontaneously go wrong with their bodies knows how incomplete that control can be! This idea brings me comfort because there is no pressure on me to fix, do, or manipulate anything. Everything is in Divine Order, always.
When I surrender, I lean on my faith and trust in Spirit. I acknowledge that God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent. This means that God is all powerful, all knowing and present everywhere, always. How could I possibly hope to outdo God? My faith tells me to trust in this Allness, to trust that God can do for me much better than anything I try to do for myself. This helps me see any obstacles as opportunities for growth.
I think that children and animals give us the best opportunities for surrender. Neither can be totally controlled. I know I really learned to surrender when I started teaching reading to Middle School students who hated reading. I would spend hours planning out every minute of my class, everything I wanted to say, everything I wanted students to do, everything I needed to have to impart my wisdom. Most of the time my classes did NOT go according to the detailed plan. The wi-fi goes out so students can’t access their work, the copier jams so I can’t make the copies I’d planned, the students won’t cooperate and work as diligently as I’d like, and the list of hiccups goes on and on. Teaching often feels like herding cats!
This is where I learned to practice and trust Spirit. Instead of planning every question I would ask, I trusted my inner spiritual wisdom to give me the best words to use at any given moment. Instead of holding myself to an exacting goal, I would allow myself to get done what I could, and to save the rest for another day. Instead of holding detailed expectations of class, I set priorities and improvised when I needed to do so. Instead of rigidly planning every minute I learned to embrace flexibility and spontaneity.
My mentor teacher used to always say - “It is what it is!” I’ve learned to embrace that Truth. It is through surrender that I can see things as they actually are, and not stay stuck in my original expectations. Surrendering allows me to remain firmly grounded in my present reality, trusting that it is what it is, and it will be whatever Spirit decides it will be.
Faith. Trust. Surrender.